Get your Fingers off my Cookies

3 Oct

Last night I did one of those quick runs to the grocery store. I desperately needed to pick up a few things, so instead of driving out of my way to go to my normal store, I stopped at one I had never visited.  I immediately regretted it though because I’m pretty sure it took me six times longer to find what I was looking for.

Anyways, I quickly threw together a mini cart of groceries* and headed towards the checkout. The vaguely odd cashier kid started ringing up my groceries as I threw them on the conveyer belt like I was competing in some kind of de-carting contest.

cookiesAbout halfway through my order, the cashier holds up my container of cookies and brings to my attention that the cellophane lid has been broken.

Cashier: “Ma’am, your cookie package is open.”

Me: “OOOH. Thanks! I’ll just go and grab another package.”

Cashier: {pulls a cookie out of the package} “Do you want one?”

Me: “Nooo. Thank you.”

Cashier: {pokes his fingers through the packaging and strokes the cookies} “I’m sure they’re fine.”

Me: {dumbfounded that he is fondling my cookies} “Umm…. Yeah. I’m going to grab another package.”

Cashier: {continues rubbing his fingers on every single cookie in the package} “I’m sure they’re okay, nobody would have touched them so there are probably no germs on them.”

Me: {Stares at him to see if he’s messing with me but he’s totally serious. I then trot quickly to grab another package of cookies.}

So yes, I was that person who ran though the store to grab a replacement package of cookies. When I returned, it was as if the cashier thought I was some sort of germ-a-phobe and he made a comment about how it was good that I had gotten a replacement package because I wouldn’t want any of the horrible germs that are out in the world.

I pretty much just ignored him and went on my way, but when I was in the car I got to thinking… did I overreact? Would YOU have purchased a box of cookies that were fondled by your cashier? Or maybe you would have just said to take them off your order and not worried about replacing them?


*That’s right, I was living large with a MINI cart because I was child-free. Do you have any idea how awesome it is to shop with a mini cart after using one of those super-sized carts with a car glued to the front of them??!


14 Responses to “Get your Fingers off my Cookies”

  1. Words for Worms October 3, 2013 at 11:11 am #

    Dude. If a package is open, it’s open. You get a new package! That’s just how it works. It’s not about the germs. It’s like buying a dress with a hole in it. You wouldn’t do that either. What a creepy cookie fondler!

    • Ashley F October 3, 2013 at 11:43 am #

      Snicker….creepy cookie fondler.

      I love the irony of him talking about germs AS HE SPREADS HIS GERMS ONTO THE COOKIES.

      When I worked retail one of the first things cashiers learned is that money is FILTHY. If you get a papercut from money your chances of it getting irritated or infected are much higher than regular paper. So handling money all day and then touching food is gross.

    • JoulesDellinger October 4, 2013 at 10:06 am #

      RIGHT?!?! CREEPY dude FONDLED my cookies!

      • Ashley F October 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm #

        He totally molested the baked goods. Not cool.

  2. Gail October 3, 2013 at 3:25 pm #

    Um yes….new package of cookies. Freak.

  3. Mary P October 3, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

    Oh, good Lord! In general, I would get another package of cookies, at the very least. After watching him put his dirty money hands all over them, I might have lost the taste for them completely. Ewewewew!
    Geez… I was at Target and picked up a bag of 100 Grand bars and it opened. Since I knew I’d barely touched it, that told me someone else had opened them and possibly eaten some. I took it to the cashier to dispose of and bought a completely different bag. And those bad boys are individually wrapped!

    • JoulesDellinger October 4, 2013 at 10:07 am #

      Who would open a big old bag to sample a couple chocolate bars?! Actually, given the right time of the month I could be in a blind chocolate fury and end up doing this…

  4. Ashley Z October 3, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    Oh my goodness! I totally had that happen to me! I bought a package of muffins from the bakery. The plastic package popped open and the cashier was trying to close it. I was insisting I wanted to just leave it (huge line behind me and I didn’t want anyone to wait while I grabbed a new one) she kept insiating it was ok and while fiddling with it the 4 jumbo banana nut muffins tumbled from the package onto the conveyer belt. She put them back in the package and rang them up! I was like oh no no no I don’t want those especially now! The cashier was like oh a little germs won’t hurt you. Ummm no. 1-it was open 2-they all fell out on the dirty belt. 3- You touched them! Yuck! Weirdo!

    • JoulesDellinger October 3, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

      Ew ew EW!! On the conveyer belt?!?! It could have salmonella chicken juice germs!!

  5. Kari October 3, 2013 at 5:17 pm #

    OMG you totally did the right thing!!
    I am shuddering just thinking about this.
    The cashier totally had greasy hair in my head.
    He did.
    Didn’t he?
    And I would TOTALLY run back to get another package.
    This and many other things are why you and I are friends.

    • JoulesDellinger October 4, 2013 at 10:08 am #

      Well, he definitely wasn’t a hottie.Hmm…I wonder if he WAS a David Beckham type if I would have welcomed his dirty hands all over my cookies….? Nope, still not cool.

  6. PinotNinja October 4, 2013 at 8:11 am #

    He had to be messing with you? right? RIGHT?!

    I’m convinced he was just a really committed Andy Kaufman aficionado. Otherwise I cannot process that situation.

  7. Lucy Curry October 4, 2013 at 10:04 am #

    I usually check the packaging before I get to the counter, but I would have replaced them and I would have went to the service desk and let them know they hired the Cookie Monster but not the Sesame Street one.

    • JoulesDellinger October 4, 2013 at 10:09 am #

      lol, the Cookie Monster comment cracks me up. =)

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