My Life is a TV Show

15 Jan

Do you ever feel like the people on TV are reflecting your life back at you?

I mean, of course we watch television shows that are relatable, but I watched two different shows on Monday night that mirrored my feelings right back at me. Totally weird, right?

First, I was watching How I Met Your Mother (as I’ve been known to do). Lily recently had a baby and has been struggling a bit with her transition into motherhood. In Monday’s episode, she confesses that she thinks she’s a bad mother because sometimes she just gets so overwhelmed with her responsibilities that she wants to just run away.

Then, about a half hour later on Bones, Angela says almost the exact same thing. She misses the old version of herself – the version who would walk through museums and enjoy the artwork. She’s not happy with who she currently is and isn’t quite sure how to change things.

I’m there.
So incredibly there.

This past weekend was HARD. All last week I was dealing with my own sickness, my husband’s cold and Jack’s hospital stay with bronchiolitis and RSV. Oh yeah, and working on top of that. All I wanted for the weekend was to curl up on the couch with a book for an hour or so. Just an hour would have been fine.

Of course, this didn’t happen. Jack decided that naps were for chumps and Travis had planned a full weekend working in the garage with a friend. Leaving me to be Supermom for another two days.

I was done. DONE.

I was frustrated and angry and just all around DONE with the situation. At one point, I wanted to walk out into the garage, hand Jack to my husband, and get in my truck and leave.

I don’t know where I would have gone, but it would have been somewhere where I only had to worry about myself. I didn’t though. Instead I unleashed my fury on Travis when he came inside. Which apparently worked, because he then took me out to dinner and gave me a massage.

I’m feeling better this week. Everyone is almost totally healthy again (knock on wood), which brings my stress level down a half-turn. I also booked a beach vacation for March, which gives me some relaxation to look forward to. Will this cure me forever? Um, probably not. Motherhood is HARD FREAKING WORK and sometimes you need a break.

It’s nice to see them dealing with the same issues on my favorite TV shows though.

It makes me feel like a little less of a failure. Because when I take a step back and look at it with clear eyes, I know I’m not a failure. I’m actually a pretty awesome mom. But I’m also Joules, a person other than a mom. Sometimes I just need to remember that.

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7 Responses to “My Life is a TV Show”

  1. Quirky Chrissy January 15, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    My mom used to take little….”trips” when she was fed up. She would get so stressed out that she really did need to get away. And she’d go spend the night at a hotel nearby leaving us with Dad. And she’d come home the next day, after some peace and quiet.

    • JoulesDellinger January 15, 2013 at 4:48 pm #

      Your mom is brilliant. =)

  2. Jesica January 15, 2013 at 4:49 pm #

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Yes, motherhood is awesome, wonderful, amazing, etc. But it is also hard work! And downtime is hard to find.

  3. Teri January 15, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    I’m not gonna lie. Motherhood is hard and it sucks butt A LOT. But then things get better and it’s okay. It’s totally okay to feel overwhelmed and yes, to take a little break when you can!! It makes you a better person and in the end, a better mother!

  4. Words for Worms January 15, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

    I was watching HIMYM last night and I loved that they showed Lily break down like that. I don’t even have kids and I’m like, “Lily, I can relate!” HIMYM always does such a good job with the tough issues- like Marshall losing his dad… I love that show. I think you’re an amazing mom who does a FABULOUS job of keeping her own identity. I would not have judged you in the slightest if you’d benadryled the baby,

  5. sue diamond-phillips January 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

    You are awesome! I have totally felt that same way…like more times than i care to admit 😉 I’m glad you got through it- you ARE AN AWESOME Mom!

  6. warmsunshine January 15, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

    Hang in there–it gets better! And sometimes husbands just need to be reminded… good to see yours responded in a positive way! I think you should keep him. : )

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