The Countdown to Returning to Work

28 Mar

My last day at work was Monday, February 13th.

At the time, I had no idea that would be my last day in the office. I wasn’t due for two more months and thought I had plenty of time to get ready for my maternity leave.

Of course, life likes to surprise you – so instead of planning as I normally would, I plopped out a baby and never went back to work.

I would have liked to go back and work some days while Jack was still in the NICU, but my short term disability insurance wouldn’t allow it so I was required to take my leave immediately.

My awesome job is actually giving me 12 weeks off (60 workdays) for maternity leave, but due to some random issues I need to return on at least a part-time basis before I have three $0 paychecks. So, after taking off 40 workdays in a row, I’ll be returning to work three days a week until my leave runs out in June.

With only the rest of this week and next week off before I start back at work, it’s starting to feel a little weird.

Part of me is pretty excited to return to the office. I have my work laptop and blackberry at home with me, so I’ve kept up-to-date on most of the office shenanigans. I’m totally looking forward to putting on nice clothes, going to the office and having grown up conversations. Since I truly do love marketing and enjoy the people I work with, it will be nice to get back into the swing of things. I’m a little intimidated because a new department head was hired and I’ll be meeting him for the first time, but I’m keeping positive and hoping that he’s just as cool as everyone else.

The other part of me – the one that can chill around the house all day in pj’s and snuggle up with my son – doesn’t want to go back at all.

I know, this is CRAZY! I’ve always been that girl that has said that I couldn’t imagine being a stay at home mom and would miss work too much. And this is still true. But I can now see the draw in staying home.

Look at this face -- who would want to leave him to go to work??!!

My son is awesome. And adorable. And hilarious. And every day I spend with him I love him even more (if that’s even possible). So, the idea of leaving him to go to work feels like a joke. Especially because I JUST got him back from the hospital.

The only thing that makes this option not rip my heart out is our childcare plan of having my mom, husband and me split the days caring for Jack. Knowing that Jack will be cared for by family makes it so much easier for me to tolerate. Because it’s not just me dropping him off somewhere while I go to work, it’s that my son is lucky enough to spend time with his grandmother.

Which is doubly-good because she won’t think I’m a psycho when I check in multiple times a day… while working my butt off at the office. See, you can have the best of both worlds!

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