Figuring out my Priorities

15 Mar

I posted on Facebook last night about my frustration with those relationships where I do 95% of the work. This isn’t something new that descended on my life with the birth of our baby, but something that has been happening slowly over time.

As a “Type A” kinda girl, I usually don’t mind being the one that takes the initiative to make plans. I’ll shoot out an email or call up my peeps* and plan for a dinner or happy hour or whatnot. People show up, we hang out and everyone is happy.  Then, I do it all again. It’s worked for me – I have lots of fun stuff to look forward to on my calendar and I get to see my friends.

But then something happened and I started to get annoyed that I was the one that always had to instigate the plans. Maybe it was the fact that I was getting busier with taking on a large nonprofit project, starting a new job, moving, etc. All that random life stuff that takes up time and brainpower. Maybe I had just reached my threshold of putting up with BS. Either way, I was starting to get annoyed.

But I was busy, so I continued on with life as I knew it. Reaching out and making plans to see everyone before the baby was born.

Then Jack came and I pretty much unplugged from life for a while. Some of my friends and family were so awesome and supportive and all that great stuff.  Others let me know that they were there for me and gave me space to do what I needed to do. All of that was wonderful and dandy.

Those people who were just chilling on the edges of my life waiting for me to make the plans?

Yeah, never heard from any of them. Now, it’s possible that they’re just giving me space and will check in when things are back to normal. Of course, I’m not really sure what my new normal is now. I’m guessing that this up most of the night and staring at my baby each day will be normal for a while.

The difference is that I no longer feel the need to force the friendships to continue. I have an awesome life with an amazing husband, sweet dog, and cute and snuggly baby. I love spending time with my mom, dad, brother and sisters. My husband’s family rocks. I have some incredibly sweet, generous, caring and hilarious friends in my life. My coworkers are also surprisingly great.

And you know what, that’s enough.

I’m not closing and locking the door on those friends that faded out of my life. But I’m certainly not looking longingly out the window waiting for them to arrive either.

So my suggestion to you is the look at the relationships in your life – whether they be friendships or relationships in business. If you have one that is way more “take, take, take” instead of “give, take, give, take” – back off a little. If that makes you feel better, back off a little more.

Aren’t you awesome enough that you should just be surrounded by other awesome people?

*Yum…peeps! Is it Easter yet???

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