Hulking Out

2 Feb

I’m feeling a little grumpy today.

Well, actually I feel like if one more thing falls on my shoulders I might freak the heck out and start screaming and throwing things.

However, since I’m working until past 9:00 tonight, I’m going to have to somehow keep that under control so that I don’t scare the crap out of my super nice new coworkers.

Most of the problem is the fact that I haven’t slept for more than 1 ½ hours at a time in the past few weeks. Every hour or so, I wake up for various reasons. I can usually get back to sleep pretty quickly, only to wake up again before my body even really gets the chance to relax. I know that this lack of sleep has made me a little less (okay, a lot less) easygoing.

My double diagnosis of gestational diabetes and cholestasis has also pissed me off. I’ve moved on from the “poor me” internal whining and I’m now at the angry stage. I’m angry that I need to take off work for a couple hours on Monday to meet with a special dietician who will inform me what I’m now allowed to eat and teach me how to use a glucometer. I’m pissed that I have to use a glucometer at all – much less poke myself 4 times a day from now until my baby is born. And I’m really annoyed about the fact that I’m going to need to follow a special diet. I HATE diets! The only thing that makes them worthwhile is when you lose weight and you’re so pleased with yourself for sticking with the hard work that made it happen. Well, since my goal (right now) isn’t to lose weight, it is just adding to my irritation.

Something else adding to my hulk-like anger… moving. We just moved three months ago, so the fact that we need to pack everything up again to move really sucks. Now, the good part is that we’re doing our “final move” into our amazing new house. The bad part is that I really wanted a couple projects completed at the house before we moved in, and they’re just not happening. I don’t have a spare moment to do them. In fact, I haven’t even had a chance to pack up our current house. I really like things to be nice and orderly, such as our last organized move. This move, however, is the opposite of organized and it’s driving me nuts.

Lastly, on my scale o’ anger, is revisiting checked off items on my list. Once I complete something and check it off, it should be DONE. I shouldn’t have to go back and forth a few more times to revisit the issue. For example, we settled on the house last Friday. So why in the heck is our mortgage company still annoying the crap out of me for more recent paystubs? We bought the house already, get off my back!

If I could just get through today I have a feeling that my Oscar the Grouch-ness will subside. Tomorrow will be a mess of packing, moving and meeting with the doctor – but at least things will be getting done. Once Saturday night hits, one way or another everything will be at our new house. Then, it’s just up to us to run around and unpack things.

I feel like I need to keep chanting “I think I can, I think I can” to keep myself going. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe I need a special “I’m not going to kick anybody in the face*, I’m just going to get through the next couple days and maybe even relax on Sunday” ipod mix.

There will definitely be this song on the mix:

 

Actually, just watching that video (for probably the 36th time) made me smile and relax a little.

I think I can, I think I can…

*Who am I kidding? At 7 ½ months pregnant my foot can barely kick high enough to reach a knee. You should see me try to put on my shoes, it’s pathetic.

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